It’s normal to feel a little jealous from time to time. We see it in our family, with our neighbors, and sometimes with our friends. But what happens when you start to feel this way at work or school?
Here are some ways to SNAP out of it when you start to envy a colleague’s accomplishments:
S: Stop comparing yourself others. This is easier said than done, of course. It starts by becoming aware that we are not alike. Everyone is on their own path in this career. Everyone has their own set of barriers and everyone has their own version of “luck” along the way. Maybe they just have great timing. Whatever their circumstances are, we know that it’s different from ours. We’re also on our own journey. Our own timeline. It’s not a race unless we make it one.
N: Name why it’s bothering you. What’s coming up for your when you hear about someone else’s award or promotion or research? If you can name WHAT it is you’re longing for, or what you think is missing from your career, then you can write it down. If it’s really important to you, you’ll probably set a goal to achieve it. If you set a goal, then you’ll probably start to figure out how you’re going to get there, which brings us to the next step.
A: Ask more questions. What would make you feel accomplished? What goals are you striving for? What’s important to you for a successful career? Who can you reach out to find out more about that? Who would give you some solid advice in this area? What tips can others give you to help you along? If we don’t reach out, then the envious thoughts keep swimming around in our head…and swimming…and swimming.
P: Praise them. Even in your head. Say to yourself, “I’m really happy for them. They are making progress and that’s going to help their career and their organization and our profession.” If you really want to change, reach out to them and congratulate them. Practice wishing good thoughts on everyone else’s victories – starting with the next piece of news you receive.
When you feel envy, use it. What is it telling you about your journey?
Until next week,